Friday, May 1, 2009
Discouraged...
I dont know if I'm discouraged because this time last year there was SOOO MUCH to look forward to and right now I dont feel like there is much to look forward to, or if it's cuz all the new changes that are about to arise. I feel like I'm doing everything to support my hubby and let him chase his dreams, but what am I doing in the meantime...sometimes I feel like I'm takin a back seat to mine so he can do his. BUT, then I get to thinking and, I dont even know what my "dreams" are. I always wanted to be a mom, and that dream has come true :). But I also want to do other things with my life and I just have NO idea what!! I do know that I'd love to play softball again. I guess I mostly let fear get in my way. Going back to school sounds like something I want to do but I dont know what I would major in and struggling thru HS scares me away from that. And I'd LOVE to join an adult softball league but I also let fear get in my way with that too cuz it would be new ppl and I havent played in 4yrs so I probably suck hard core. Plus, with my hubby workin and gigs, when am I supposed to have time to do those things? I guess I am just feeling like I'm at a "rut" in life right now. Maybe it's cuz I graduated 4 yrs ago and all my friends are graduating college and I have never even gone to more then 1 class in college. I feel like I havent accomplished everything I could have in the last 4yrs and I dont know how to change that for the next 4. I want to be the absolute BEST mom that I can be and be the greatest influence on my son, but to do that I need to know who I am and have a lil more confidence in myself.
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1 comment:
Hey sis, I am glad you shared your feelings. I think the first step in making a difference is realizing that you want to! Start small and don't let yourself get overwhelmed. Look up some softball leagues in your area and see if it would even be an option to go play. If it's like once a week you can do it on Steven's days off or something. If not find something else you have always wanted to do and go for that!
Whatever you do, DON'T BE SCARED! You are amazing and there are so many other people out there that are in your same situation that could learn from you and teach you too.
I wish we lived closer so we could go do these things together! That would be so fun. But remember you do have lots of friends and family close by that love and support you!
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